I am still trying to figure out what it means to be black in this brand new 16 years old South Africa. Go ahead and snigger all you like. This is my question, my journey and you don’t have to come with if you don’t want to. What is the one thing that makes me black today? Here? I am sure that I know the answer to these questions - Almost as sure as I am that I don’t quite know.
Ok, I went on this journey after I read Mr Sandile Memela’s latest post on the “Thought Leader Blog”. He is upset (at least that how it read to me) about the ever growing tendency for black writers to trash all that is black and that is government. He is onto their stuff though, at least that is what he writes. He is onto these sell-outs (this is my word) – he has worked out that the reason that they do this (trash other blacks and the government) is so that the white publishers would publish their stuff. The alternative for them, it seems, would be to be a blogger like me, with a dedicated readership of 3 (all dear friends).
I go through the blog and think: he is onto something here. Then suddenly I realise that the very things that he admonishes Xolela Mangcu, Moeletsi Mbeki and others for doing, becomes the very peg on which he hangs his critic coat. I could live with that. You know they say one should not do as another does but rather as the other says. Learn from other’s mistakes and so on. Then I set out to find out more about this Mr Memela. There is a helpful bit on the top right-hand corner of the blog that lets you a little into who he is and where he hangs out during the day. It is when he described himself as a “government funk” that the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I still thought that I could deal with all that, as I should. My view is, you learn from others. You don’t even have to agree with them – just don’t repeat their howlers for to re-howl is to be stupid and you don’t want to be caught being stupid, right?
Mr Memela also writes that he is tolerant of views that don’t necessarily fit in with his own. I then think: come on, now you just shitting me aren’t you? You clearly don’t like the ideas of Mangcu and Mbeki. You actually call them unpleasant names, right there in your post; you call them such and such, and this and that. You can’t stand these okes or their ideas at least. You write clearly how they are the cancer that is going to kill the black writer. So what am I to learn from you and them now? I haven’t a clue. What I am painfully realising is how difficult being black has become since we started calling ourselves black as opposed to being designated as such by some or other authority.
It seems to me that the views that one may hold – one being black that is – must be carefully checked lest they do not accord with those of the black majority or the government. As I read Mr Memela’s piece and the comments in support of it, I fantasised about writing a book under a title: “the colour of ideas”. I also got stuck on some of the concepts and phrases in the post, so I realised that I need to read more and learn more. I am stuck when it comes to the word “intellectual” even more so if it is a pseudo kind. I am as a general proposition attracted to ideas and thoughts. I am fascinated by how minds work – all kinds of minds. I am no intellectual. I think about things, events, people, my children and the future – among many things that cross my mind. There are those whom I regard as intellectuals but given the use of the term these days, they may well not be; or they may be pseudo.
I am all for disagreements. Especially among black people – intellectuals or not. I criticise and have criticised the government in this space. I do so for the same reason I criticised and disagreed with Prof. Jansen: because I know they can be much better, good as they may be. I would have liked Mr Memela to take these offending black writers on. I would have liked him to engage the ideas and thoughts they express. I would have liked him to engage those ideas and reduce them to nought as they should be. It is a pity his critic stops at name calling and denigration.
This, is the real tragedy of being a black writer.
Ok, I went on this journey after I read Mr Sandile Memela’s latest post on the “Thought Leader Blog”. He is upset (at least that how it read to me) about the ever growing tendency for black writers to trash all that is black and that is government. He is onto their stuff though, at least that is what he writes. He is onto these sell-outs (this is my word) – he has worked out that the reason that they do this (trash other blacks and the government) is so that the white publishers would publish their stuff. The alternative for them, it seems, would be to be a blogger like me, with a dedicated readership of 3 (all dear friends).
I go through the blog and think: he is onto something here. Then suddenly I realise that the very things that he admonishes Xolela Mangcu, Moeletsi Mbeki and others for doing, becomes the very peg on which he hangs his critic coat. I could live with that. You know they say one should not do as another does but rather as the other says. Learn from other’s mistakes and so on. Then I set out to find out more about this Mr Memela. There is a helpful bit on the top right-hand corner of the blog that lets you a little into who he is and where he hangs out during the day. It is when he described himself as a “government funk” that the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I still thought that I could deal with all that, as I should. My view is, you learn from others. You don’t even have to agree with them – just don’t repeat their howlers for to re-howl is to be stupid and you don’t want to be caught being stupid, right?
Mr Memela also writes that he is tolerant of views that don’t necessarily fit in with his own. I then think: come on, now you just shitting me aren’t you? You clearly don’t like the ideas of Mangcu and Mbeki. You actually call them unpleasant names, right there in your post; you call them such and such, and this and that. You can’t stand these okes or their ideas at least. You write clearly how they are the cancer that is going to kill the black writer. So what am I to learn from you and them now? I haven’t a clue. What I am painfully realising is how difficult being black has become since we started calling ourselves black as opposed to being designated as such by some or other authority.
It seems to me that the views that one may hold – one being black that is – must be carefully checked lest they do not accord with those of the black majority or the government. As I read Mr Memela’s piece and the comments in support of it, I fantasised about writing a book under a title: “the colour of ideas”. I also got stuck on some of the concepts and phrases in the post, so I realised that I need to read more and learn more. I am stuck when it comes to the word “intellectual” even more so if it is a pseudo kind. I am as a general proposition attracted to ideas and thoughts. I am fascinated by how minds work – all kinds of minds. I am no intellectual. I think about things, events, people, my children and the future – among many things that cross my mind. There are those whom I regard as intellectuals but given the use of the term these days, they may well not be; or they may be pseudo.
I am all for disagreements. Especially among black people – intellectuals or not. I criticise and have criticised the government in this space. I do so for the same reason I criticised and disagreed with Prof. Jansen: because I know they can be much better, good as they may be. I would have liked Mr Memela to take these offending black writers on. I would have liked him to engage the ideas and thoughts they express. I would have liked him to engage those ideas and reduce them to nought as they should be. It is a pity his critic stops at name calling and denigration.
This, is the real tragedy of being a black writer.
Posts
