Ours is a beautiful country, at least so I am told. Well, often Table Mountain is pointed out and some unspoilt beach, a botanical garden or some panoramic view in Mpumalanga. Ok, I concede, it is a beautiful country and largely, with beautiful people in it. It is also a place where resentment thrives . . .
It is also only 14 years ago that I could call it my country as opposed to just living here. Less than 20 years ago, my fate was in the hands of less than a third of the population of this country, who by whatever other description you choose, were to vote yes or no to the proposition that I am human and worthy of citizenship. And then there were the negotiations preceded by a shameless scramble and subversion of my claim for freedom and fairness. This was of course lauded as courgeous act of self-less forgiveness. All of this personified in one man, a great man but one man nonetheless. From then on, you were either like him or against what he stood for. The political negotiators agreed a peaceful resolution of the preceding conflict. With white privilege safely secured, we all embarked on the road to the new South Africa. A South Africa that was to be colour-blind lest it noticed the plight of Black people or the privilege of White people.
Then there was the expectation, the optimism that things would now turn for the better for everyone; which meant for Black people, considering that things were pretty much ok for everyone else but Black people. There were also some belief among young people that they could now go wherever they want whenever they chose, to do whatever took their fancy. "Admission Reserved". In the meantime history slowly started to decay, Dorkay House, Kippies, Sobukwe's home - Does anyone remember who Zeph Mothopeng was, or what he stood for? A commemoration of a massacre swopped for some cosmetic nation building public holiday, an unforgettable winter of butchered children and innocence lost, swopped for some neutral day of song and dance. These things take time the youth is told; it took us years to get us into this mess, it will take years to get us out - in the meantime, let us go about it the least disruptive way - we have lots of time. Besides, by the time it really begins to matter nobody will remember where or how all of this came about. Rwanda just happened because that is what happens on this continent. Mobutu had nothing to do with those that killed Lumumba, nothing.
Everywhere else in the world is better than here. Here with the crime, the corruption and lawlessness, is the worst place on earth. Vietnam, Block-5, Sayana-Porto - all names of a small section of an even smaller township, none of which conjuring images of peace let alone security. All these names but one pre-date my birth. The Drum era gangsters - msomi gang to the wire gang to the hardlivings, all as old as the neighbourhoods they terrorised then and continue to terrorise in one guise or another today. Now I read that the only other places in Africa that are less safe than SA are those at war or struggling with ceasefire arrangements. Whichever way you slice it, this is a pretty terrible place. I guess not all crime is equal. Violence, murder, rape, slavery, grand scale theft - none of it is new. It is the equal opportunities approach that all of these now take that seem to have woken us all up to the sins of our fathers. It is never understood when I show confusion at being told just how safe this country used to be. I suppose being attacked by students (pupils) from Volkskool Potchefstroom - just because. Maybe I just don't know what safe means. How about having a university campus being turned into an army barracks - a student leader falling out of the window of his 3rd room? Maybe I'm looking at this thing the wrong way- these are the very actions that made this country safe.
BEE was of course another of a list of elastoplast solutions to a problem that required reconstructive surgery. Further confirmation of the kindness of white capital and business reaching out to help the poor "previously disadvantaged". The disadvantage that presumably had nothing to do with white capital and business. Bystanders during the brutalisation of the wretched of the earth, unable to help then and now ready, willing and able to help. In the meantime, it is business as usual in good old SA. This is the very BEE that has resulted in the brain drain; that is making it impossible for gifted bright white South Africans to get jobs. Between crime and BEE they had no other option but to go overseas and take a job with Lehman Bros.
Like love, resentment thrives in its own presence. In our country, resentment is a beneficiary of much love and naturing - everyday.
The present did not just materialise. The present resulted from deliberate choices and actions deliberately carried out. It will similarly take deliberate actions and choices to arrest the decay and turn the tide towards a country we can call home.
Who am I kidding . . . none of this really matter, or does it?
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