Words matter

Aren’t words nothing but the bricks that our beliefs are built on? Perhaps, words are the stuff that betrays our beliefs. Maybe, just maybe, the two statements resolve themselves into the same proposition. This may also be gratuitous self-pleasuring (my words, not yours – so there, I said it first).

A friend/brother, during some vulnerable conversation, intimated that I am being somewhat philosophical (whatever that means). My retort was, Prof, being dumped when you are in your 50s, will either kill you or make you philosophical. Of course, I got to share a drink with my friend, the Prof so, being dumped did not unalive me, hence the philosophical inclination. The good Prof made a telling observation. Not that I have become philosophical, but that I have come to question everything. Trying to find the meaning of meaning. That of course is an entirely different blog and story. No, this blog is not about me being dumped either.

Most of what we get to know (loosely speaking) and sometimes also believe, come to us in words, written and spoken. “Men are trash” are words that most have come to know and that some have come to believe. Nothing to do with me being dumped. For peace of mind and mental health, that is all that I will type on those three words. Philosophical I can live with. Sour grapes and defensive? No, that is a bridge to far – burnt or intact.

My forebears have a saying: “lefoko, ga le boe, go boa, monwana”. Which reminds me: I was told that I use punctuation like confetti, throwing it everywhere. Well, that was said to me by a NQF level 9 English major who is also an award-winning poet and an editor of other people’s writing. He gets to say that to me and I get to swallow hard and move on. About my forebears: what they meant or conveyed is that once the word(s) is out your mouth, you can’t take it back. However, pointing your finger at someone, you can unpoint your finger. I don’t altogether get it but I get enough. Words, like black lives, matter. Apparently, Jacobs coffee matters too, but that is hardly the point. Besides, what kind of a guy would…never mind.

I have come to accept, thanks to “social media”, that people can and do write anything, anyhow. Just by the way, I am habouring a belief that it should be called “anti-social media”, to be fair. Nevertheless, people say and type all manner of things about people, events and things, with absolutely no care. Yes, I get it – limited characters, etc. Is the time to reflect before posting also limited? I have witnessed words cause grievous harm on others. I have also witnessed the after the fact, back-tracking and explanations which, did not undo the harm, sometimes making matters even worse.

Then there are words like, WE, US, THEY, THEM. Pronouns yes, but that is not where I am going with this. At the heart of all conflicts, wars, mass killings and general hatred, are these words. It is the belief in these words that make it ok for people to be downright dicky. 

I am fascinated by words. I am enthralled by well put together words. I spend time thinking about words, trying to understand them; yes, I love using them too. There is so much good words can do, too. I am reminded of the time I heard“not every Singh is a Sikh but every Sikh, is a Singh.” I don’t even know if it is true, I just loved the words, put together that way. Oh, there was also that time in my life when I was said, unfairly, to be afflicted by eastern fixation. Now that, is another pair of pants I’d rather not unzip.

So, why is it that people (sentient, as we are said to be) say things that are not true, as if they are, or things that we know will cause harm. “She is not South African, she should not represent US”. Is this true? It sure is harmful. We know how it all ended for her. Not even the minister of Home Affairs knows this to be true; at least as far as I have followed the news, so far. It may well be shown to be true (or not). As I am typing this blog, it is yet to be shown to be true. The last I am aware of is the minister stating that “there appears to be fraud…” and, his officials asking for more time to investigate. I hope that at some point, the minister will take the nation into his confidence, to borrow a well-worn Mzansi phrase.

The stone in my shoe is that, without any factual basis, other than the nationality of her parents (if that too is factual, who knows), the anti-social media declared her to be not South African and therefor…So what will any investigation help? To be fair to anti-social media, words have been doing harm long before twitter and facebook. I am old enough to recall Maki Skosana. A woman who was killed by the infamous “necklace”. Look it up. Someone said that she was an impimpi, others believed it and proceeded to act out their belief. Those who were there, will tell you that she was not an impimpi. Cold comfort for her and her loved ones. Words, just words. 

So it will continue. Stories will trend, true and false. People’s lives will be upended. That is just how the anti-social media works. There may be lawsuits too, for those that have the means, time and gumption. 

More should be expected from those who spread words in some or other official capacity. I expect a lot more from the minister of Home Affairs, from members of Parliament, from news media, and so on and so forth. It does not help anyone to repeat the “it appears; there’s prima facie; it is said that, and so on. This just solidifies unverified versions of a harmful story. Our institutions, including the ailing fourth estate, must do better. Of course, each individual also has to do better. The words you put out into the public sphere, do matter. They have an impact, intended or otherwise, on people’s lives. 

I am looking forward to the outcome of the investigation by the Home Affairs department, whichever way it finds on this child’s matter. And no, the outcome will not and does not make the harmful statements okay, after the fact. The proverbial horse may have bolted, hopefully the next horse will keep its mouth shut and the barn door will be kept shut too.

Our institutions must do better. Everyone must do better. Words are not just words.